Internal Family Systems (IFS): Understanding “Parts” Without Pathologizing Yourself

It is not uncommon for clients to come to therapy feeling frustrated and wanting to make changes in their thoughts, behaviours, or emotions. Some clients come to therapy because they want to change certain parts of themselves while keeping others, or they want to understand why they act a certain way, even though they know they “shouldn’t”.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help clients navigate these inner conflicts without feeling “broken”. In Ontario, IFS is highly sought after for its gentle approach that fosters emotional healing. Instead of asking: “What’s wrong with me?”, IFS encourages clients to ask: “What’s happening inside of me, and how does it make sense?”.

What Is IFS?

IFS therapy is a form of psychotherapy grounded in two concepts.

Firstly, this approach perceives the mind as made of different entities or personalities, often called Parts. These Parts are viewed as a normal aspect of being human, and play different roles and have different intentions. IFS is non-pathologizing, meaning that these Parts are not seen as flaws or diagnoses.

Secondly, everyone has a core Self. The Self has specific qualities of leadership, and when accessed, it reduces suffering and makes room for healing.

IFS therapy supports the Self in relating to the different Parts, as opposed to trying to control or suppress them. Let’s dive deeper into the Parts and the Self so you can better understand why this approach is sought after in Ontario and how it can help treat anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and trauma-related challenges.

Understanding the Parts

Parts can be viewed as having a positive intent, even if the actions and behaviours are considered extreme or counterproductive.

There are three main categories involved in parts work:

• Exiles: Vulnerable parts that often carry fear, pain, or share from past traumatic experiences that often happened at a younger age. They hold their name as these parts are “exiled” to protect the individual from painful thoughts.
• Managers: Protective measures developed to keep the Exiles at bay. These can show up as people-pleasing, hypervigilance, staying constantly busy, and perfectionism, to name a few.
• Firefighters: Reactive protectors step in when Exiles break through Managers’ defences. They are impulsive and use distraction or numbing to distract when the pain resurfaces. These can be experienced as self-harming, substance use, or binge eating.

Understanding the Self

When the protective parts start to relax during the healing process, eight qualities can arise. Known as the “8 C’s of the Self”, they are Calmness, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Connectedness, Courage, Creativity, and Curiosity. These qualities can make space for healthier relationships and a stronger sense of agency.

Inner Critic: Accepting Over Pathologizing

One main key takeaway from IFS is that there are no “bad” parts, but rather, this approach understands that symptoms come from adaptation, not defects. With this being said, clients can experience reduced shame and increased self-compassion, both of which are essential in creating and sustaining change. When clients understand themselves better and why they do the things they do, they can build a stronger relationship with themselves.

Final Thoughts

At Vital Minds, we invite you to schedule a FREE virtual or telephone consultation with one of our trained and licensed therapists to ensure that you find a therapist who is a good fit to support you and your needs. This brief meeting will allow you to discuss your goals with a therapist and answer any questions you may have. We offer individualized in-person and virtual services tailored to your specific needs. We look forward to meeting with you to explore how we can best support you on your therapeutic journey.